Unofficial, Divine Payback, My Phone be all dead and shit, Muff's Birthday, Celebrity Sightings, and tears :*(

So Unofficial was way more subdued this year. My trek to Champaign was far more entertaining (in theory) than the day itself. In fact, if I hadn't gotten into that argument with that kid at the Murph, it would have been pretty forgettable. So let me start back at February 28th, the day it all began. Actually, February 27th. I tried to check into my flight online, only to find out that I had never assigned myself to a seat and they were all full. I panicked, and at the same time I was pretty "meh" about it. I had so much homework to do that weekend that staying here really would have been beneficial, but I digress. I called American Airlines customer service, and the lady was really nice and reminded me of the bumping thing (Carl Weathers style), and even asked me if I wanted to move my flight up to 4:30. I said no because I had a midterm for marketing and I didn't want to rush through it. Biggest mistake of my life!! Marketing starts at noon, the teacher gives us 10 extra minutes to get there because the elevator situation is so ridiculous. She then answered last minute questions about the test, which took another 10 minutes. All that, and I was done, out of the building, and in line at Chase by 12:36. So I get back and start packing. My flight was at 6:15, I was supposed to leave at 3:30, but I got ballsy and tried to leave at 4:00. There are no cabs within a 5 block radius because of construction, so I asked the doorguy (who is usually not nice to me) if he knew the number to a cab company. He called one of his "friends", and they came and got me (which was highly illegal, but I'm not complaining). By that time it was 4:30. So the cabbie started chatting me up about my life, school ("$40,000 a year!? are you crazy?" "Yes".) and asking if I had a boyfriend. I get that a lot. I should really come up with a more witty response. Anyways, we got there at 5-ish and the check in line was ridic. I got really pissed with myself for waiting til 4:00 to try to leave. So I started praying like crazy that I would make the flight, then immediately feeling really bad about praying to get on a flight to go visit and booze with my friends. So I just make it through check-in at 5:38, rush towards the gate, security screening (pretty uneventful, but the girl in front of me tried to bring on illegals-hairspray- and had to go to check them in, she was on the same flight as me, I felt bad). It is now 5:45, when the plane should start boarding. I say should be, because there was a mechanical error, and the plane was taken out of service, delaying the flight until they could find a replacement plane, which moved it back to 7:45. I was a little irritated at that point, but still happy to have made it to the gate in time. I had a connection to make. Long story short, American put my name on 3 standby lists and in all 3 situations, the list stopped 1 name short of mine. So I decided to booze it up and just wait til 7:45. Fine. Except, the flight has been delayed an additional hour, leaving at 8:45 out of another gate. I really wanted to cry, and even thought about lying and saying I was going to a funeral to elicit sympathy. Too low, even for me. So I called American Airlines and demanded a refund (I was at about a 45% on the bo-bober scale). And while I was bitching them out, I saw Common walk past. I couldn't say hi cause my phone was plugged into the charger and I was immobilized, so I just waved drunkenly in his direction and he smiled back. Chi-town love. By this time my original flight is boarding. I sat next to a fellow Illini alum on the plane, he had a Rose Bowl background and I pounced. We discussed the somersault and agreed it was tasteless yet deserved. Oh, December 32nd. The mistakes I made that day. Including dropping my phone in Eileen's toilet. Which is actually pretty integral to this story. But that's later. So we get to O'Hare, I know I've missed my connection, it's 10:30. I have 2 options: let American put me up in a hotel for the night, then take the earliest flight out in the morning, or be a trooper and take a midnight bus to Champaign, getting me there at around 3 a.m.. Well, bars close at 2, so I figured everybody would still be awake granted they didn't get too crazy. So I took the bus. While I was waiting, this 35-ish man with a hat that worked there started smiling at me closed mouth (this becomes important later). Being polite I smiled back. Tell me why he takes off his hat to reveal a thinning Jheri curl and smiles fully, revealing a top row consisting of 4 teeth at the max, and starts flirting with me, and again, asking me the boyfriend question... I seeked out a mirror pronto. I had to know what I was looking like. This is getting long, so let me condense the rest of the Thursday/Friday morning. The bus was packed, it smelled like breath and stoner. So I get to Champaign, my phone is 99% dead. I literally had 1 call left. I called Alan and told him to come get me and he said ok. It's freezing, it's snowing, I'm waiting. I'm thinking the best, "Oh, maybe he's clearing the snow off his hood", "Oh, maybe there's ice on the windshield", "Oh, maybe he's waiting for the car to warm up" 10. 15. 20 minutes pass and I'm the only person outside now. I honestly could have walked there in 2-3 minutes, but it was 3:30 a.m. (I found out later that Alan had indeed not budged from his drunken slumber, I would have frozen to death). I took a cab. I went around to the back door because I saw a light on and knocked for the better part of 10 minutes. Nobody answered. If you've read up to this point, you'll understand my frustration. So I go down the back stairs and write some obscenities in snow on the cars of everybody that lives there. Then I go around to the front and knock. And I heard a human voice that wasn't my own muttered expletives, so I got really excited. Oh yeah, it's 4 a.m. now. Senor Fabek opened the door and I was elated. But 4 a.m. "I've spent the better part of my day in airports and been given the shaft by no less than 4 modes of transportation, it's cold and I was just outside for 50 minutes" elated. I met Andrew who was "very excited to meet me" and just fell asleep on that couch of dreams.

You can see how living this, and then coming back later and having to relive it to write about it could be mentally taxing, correct? If not, you're a sadist. That being said, I'll write about Friday-present later.

P.S.- I know I switched tenses somewhere, I'm not sure exactly where.